Musings
by Mantinas
Summary: Slight AU. Rolo is left alone after Lelouch talks about Nunnally again. Distraught, his mind wonders and he thinks about him and Lelouch. Apparent one sided rololulu maybe more than that, you decide and one sided lulukallen. First CG fic.


Musings

This is my first Code Geass fic. I hope you will like this.

Disclaimer-I own nothing.

'blah' thoughts

"Blah" speech.

------ ------

Nunnally was all Lelouch could think of. Her long, curly, hair, her blind eyes, her voice. And that annoyed Rolo. The lonely boy could see nothing great about the girl. He had researched her during his time studying about his 'brother'. And he came up with one conclusion: She was useless, and thus; needed to be eliminated.

And he knew he could do it, too. He could sneak into her chamber and finish her off. He would not use his geass on her. That would be pointless, and he wanted her out of the way as quickly as possible.

'She already had brother's love.' He mused to himself. 'And she already thinks he's missing, if not dead! How hard could it be to convince her that this would be the best action?'

He neither smirked nor felt sick at the thought. He was trained better than that. And even though most of his training and messed up childhood was falling apart-all thanks to Lelouch-he still held onto something; knowing that it would be useful to his brother's plans.

'I love you, brother.' He thought. 'Why don't you feel the same?'

Rolo was no fool, he knew Lelouch's feelings were only a fraction to what he felt. Though the assassin could not understand why. So they were both men. People who murder have no morals and sins are just a word to describe something wonderful. Something good. Something beautiful.

'She will no longer interfere with us, brother.' He thought. 'Just like Shirley. She is dead because she tried to interfere.'

Some would call him selfish. But that is because they have lived lives filled with things; a material life. While he had to struggle to survive, taking nothing as his own, and love just one of those words that meant nothing.

'Until Lelouch, of course.'

He had no family. V.V. being a bad example of a father figure. And no brother.

'And then this mission came up.'

He had a brother. Even if it was just make believe, it was enough. And now he could no longer get enough. He craved Lelouch's love, acceptance, and attention. He craved Lelouch!

'At least I can still stand by his side.' He said, making him a little bit happy. Since, after all, not many could say the same.

------ ------

Rolo groaned. His mind had wondered again. It tended to do that after every time Lelouch mentioned Nunnally in that longing, loving older brother way. And oh how he hated it! How come he never said anything about time? It made him nearly want to cry.

'Tools don't cry.'

The sentence crept into his conscious without remorse. Something V.V. always said when he was young. And, of course, he would not cry. Not now; not ever. Though that did not stop his eyes from trying.

"Rolo," A soft voice says behind him. It sounded like it almost cared, the curiosity filled the name. "What's wrong?"

It was Kallen. The red head had her head poking out from the hallway. Rolo had to turn his head around from the couch he was sitting on to see her.

"Nothing." He said. Masking his feelings.

"Uh-huh." Kallen said, not believing him. She stepped further into the room, taking the liberty to sit next to him on the couch.

Rolo knew that the silent treatment would not work on the Black Knight. She, like all of them, were stubborn. Though she was more so.

He sighed.

"I'm just…" He began, trying to find the right word. "Disappointed."

That was, of course. Not the right word. Upset, distraught, melancholy. Now those fit. But he figured that would be how an actual, neglected brother would feel.

"Why?" She asked, sounding genuinely sincere.

"All he talks about in Nunnally." Rolo said, his volume increasing. "It's like I don't exist! Like I mean nothing to him!" He turned to face the girl. "Why?" He shouted. "Why can't he see?"

That outburst confused Kallen. But instead of guessing what the boy was talking about, she went right for the question:

"See what?"

Rolo blushed, turning his face away from her gaze, his own looking at the floor.

"How much I love him."

"What?" She asked, not sure if she heard right. But Rolo did not offer to repeat himself.

"I…I don't get it." She stammered. "You're both guys. You're not even related. How can you love Lelouch?"

Rolo understood her outburst. He was there on the docks where she stumbled upon Lelouch. He noticed that she wanted him to kiss her.

'To have competition with a boy over brother's heart must make her uncomfortable.' He mused. 'I'm not sure why.'

Her angry growl disturbed his thoughts. She grinded her teeth together and snapped.

"You're a dirty Britannian spy! Why Zero won't kill you is beyond me, you sick pervert!"

With a growl, she stood up and stomped out of the room, leaving an exposed Rolo behind.

'Let her tell them.' Rolo thought. 'Let them harass me. I'll just use my geass and then it will finally be just me and brother.'

He sighed. Of course he knew that without the Black Knights the world will turn their backs on Lelouch, finding his dream to be pointless and give up. Just like if he killed Nunnally. Lelouch would give up. And though he has a plan, he would have to make sure that the identity of Nunnally's killer never leaks to the public, most of all, Lelouch.

Rolo sighed. He knew this operation was risky. Far risky than anything he's ever done before.

'But the risk will be worth it.' He mused finally. 'If it means I'll be alone with brother.'

------ ------

Kallen walked down the hall until she stood face-to-face with her terrorist leader. She had her head down, ashamed for how she acted earlier.

"What did you learn?" Was the request from Lelouch, dressed as Zero.

She kept her gaze centered on the floor as she spoke. And though she could not see it, Kallen thought she heard the boy smirk underneath his helmet.

"So," The prince said. "His loyalty to me shall be strong."

He turned in a dramatic way, holding onto the side of his cape as he span around and walked off.

"Wait!" Kallen shouted. "What are you gonna do to him?"

Zero stopped and turned around.

"Nothing that concerns you, Kallen."

Her gaze hardened, focusing her disdain at her once friend.

"So you're just going to use him?" She asked, saddened by the expected outcome.

Zero said nothing and once again made a dramatic exit.

Kallen dropped to her knees, tears in her eyes. She never wanted to say that to poor Rolo, but she had learned what she was told to find, and needed a way out. Though deep down she could admit to herself that she thought that if she did as she was told Lelouch would favor her aboive C.C., though now, once again, she wonders what she ever thought she saw in Zero.

------ ------Owari

I still don't think I've got Rolo's personality perfect. But this was just a trial. I hope you've enjoyed this story. I promise that I'll veer from the norm next time!


End file.
